


Dangerous cookies

by Isa_Faradien



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-15
Updated: 2015-03-15
Packaged: 2018-03-18 00:54:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 539
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3550040
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Isa_Faradien/pseuds/Isa_Faradien
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>[OS] "Everything began with a cookie jar that Pepper leaved on the kitchen table. She thought that it would please the Avengers."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dangerous cookies

**Author's Note:**

  * A translation of [Les cookies de la discorde](https://archiveofourown.org/works/3333980) by [Isa_Faradien](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Isa_Faradien/pseuds/Isa_Faradien). 



> This One-Shot is the English translation of the French fanfiction « Les cookies de la discorde », that I also wrote.
> 
> I'm from France and I'm not bilingual yet, so I apologise and I'm asking you to forgive me if you find some mistakes in this translation ;)

Everything began with a cookie jar that Pepper leaved on the kitchen table. She thought that it would please the Avengers.

Because he always wakes up before the rest of the team, Steve was the first of his flatmates to discover the jar. Pepper also leaved a note for them: _My dear Avengers, I hope that you will enjoy this little surprise. - Pepper Potts_

He didn't open the jar, choosing to wait until the other superheroes woke up.

The second person to pass near the jar was Bruce. Steve's and Bruce's flatmates woke up over the next few hours, and the last Avenger who went out of his bed was – of course – Tony.

The whole team assembled around the kitchen table, following Steve's order. Captain America was the one who opened the jar.

Its mysterious content was revealed, and the superheroes' reactions were varied.

Steve was pleasantly surprised. Natasha didn't care: _okay, this is a cookie jar, so what?_ Clint was strangely happy, as he didn't eat any cookie before that day. Tony was staring at the jar as he wanted to eat all its content alone. Thor was wondering what these things could be, because it wasn't Asgardian. Bruce lose his control over the Hulk, who was fond of cookies.

And that was how they met a Hulk starving for cookies in the middle of their kitchen.

“Hulk loves cookies” grunted the green monster. “Hulk wants cookies!”

“Treat yourself” Steve offered him gently. The Super Soldier didn't want to be smacked like a rag doll* by his giant friend.

Hulk didn't hesitate and swallowed a handful of cookies. The only noise that the Avengers could hear at this moment was the one produced by his mastication.

“My friend Hulk, can I try only one of these cookies?” Thor asked. “We don't have this thing on Asgard and I'm wondering about its taste.”

“Out of question” Hulk forbade. “That's Hulk's cookies. Hulk doesn't share Hulk's cookies with stupid god.”

Clint didn't listen to this answer, and his hand began to slide toward the jar to grab a cookie before Hulk ate all of them. The giant noticed this stealing attempt, and began to shout.

“DROP THIS!” Now, he was really angry. “Don't touch Hulk's cookies! Hulk not happy! HULK SMASH!”

Oops. They apparently succeeded to piss off the Hulk. The Avengers ran out of the kitchen to grab their weapons. The green giant decided to chase them around the Tower.

First of all, Clint took the time to swallow the cookie he has stolen. Tony grabbed one before fleeing. Thor took a cookie as well. The Asgardian loved this « _surprising Midgardian cake_ ».

This high-speed chase ended in the living room. The team was able to get the monster under their control, so Bruce Banner managed to come back.

After the crisis, Tony, Clint and Thor hurried back into the kitchen to eat up all the cookies which had survived to Hulk's passage.

For a long time the Avengers could still remember this incident involving a cookie jar and the Hulk. It is also required to say that Iron Man, Hawkeye and Thor quarrelled over the last cookie in the jar – Tony finally ate it, right under his friends' noses.

**Author's Note:**

> * « To be smacked like a rag doll » is a reference to what Tom Hiddleston once said about Hulk punching Loki: “And special thanks to Mark Ruffalo for smacking me like a rag doll” (it was when he received an award for his role in the film).
> 
> Don't hesitate to spot any mistake I could have made and to report it to me in a review. I will post a corrected version of this story if you find too much mistakes.


End file.
